First one thought on the many firsts

Today is the day of my first one thought and yesterday was the day of many firsts – the day we did the first TS3 performance in front a hooting and encouraging audience. Who better can we have as an audience than this passionate lot, who will walk up to you and say “it was deep, it was shades of grey, it was realistic, it was AWESOME!!” It was a definitive first for me where I was apprehensive of how the play will turn out as we had not rehearsed enough or so I thought, in my naïve but limited intelligence. It was also the first time, I let go and allowed my co-actor to lead me and what an experience it was! I learnt more through my co actors and following them than I would have learnt in many classes clubbed together!! Loved every minute of it and the fulfilment seems to gain clarity after a day or two.

Yesterday was also the day when I volunteered for the first time at the Kannada Kavya Chilume. I saw first-hand the beautiful back drop come to life and how it was done piece by piece (literally) I experienced the calm and focused actions of show manager, making the right decisions and calling the shots. I saw a lady perched on a high stool (she was climbing great heights for sure J) handling the lights with aplomb. I also saw musicians bring on the magic to stage and weave through every emotion on stage. How did they do it? The act was improv theatre and at least the music must be staged? No, it was going with the flow and establishing the stage, setting the tone, heightening the emotion and finishing with a crescendo. The actors were phenomenal and for all my lack of language skills in Kannada, I left after the circle time, a very happy, content and enriched volunteer. Ofcourse, thanks to the team for performing my favourite kannada word “avali-javali” during their practice sessions. Now I will always look at them (my avali-javali) with more love, more depth and more of satisfaction.

On the subject of my kids, yesterday was also the first time when I was away from my kids and husband for the first time for a full day. Don’t get me wrong, I travel abroad on work, I travel to various places to attend to some family functions, I travel to take care of our farm often….but yesterday seemed like I was away from my family to do something that I enjoyed, I cherished and I derived a lot of pleasure from. That came with equal parts of guilt, defiance and self-doubts. When my daughter asked me today “why were you so late last night?” I wanted to reprimand her but realized she also missed my presence. Being the quiet one, my son is yet to make an observation but my husband has been grudgingly supportive and ensures that home front is taken care of in my absence. So my dilemma from this third experience of firsts during this weekend has been whether it’s the right move to take away one whole day from my two days (weekend) with my kids till they will give it to me? I know very soon in about 3 years’ time, they will have other things to do, and wanting to spend time with uncool parents is almost certainly not going to happen with the cool and hip teenagers that they will be!! So right now, I am still contemplating, dissecting and feeling a bit low about the third first time ever…And I know this is also about my journey of self discovery. Every piece, every nuance and every emotion as an individual, as a mother, as a wife, as a professional and above all as a thinking being wanting to be a little better than what I was yesterday. I am not sad that I am at the crossroads rather I am happy that I arrived here today…I am content in the thought that I shall be…what I choose to be.

Happy to share my thoughts with you!

Outsource everything except being a mother and a wife

The creative team

Recently, I worked with a team of women on a newsletter as part of the "Women in IT" program.  This was a good experience as it exposed to me a lot of infectious enthusiasm and fun. My responsibility included interviewing  a senior leader, writing it up, editing the articles and creating the final copy along with the Chief Editor. Here is a picture of the entire team and a copy of the interview.

No appointments, No disappointments

Traditional at heart, yet modern in her views and outlook, Vasudharini Srinivasan is a shining example of a successful senior leader. She started her career as a Senior Systems Analyst at Mascot Systems and quickly rose through the ranks due to her innovative problem-solving capabilities and financial acumen. As part of her accomplishments, she has been instrumental in taking a new age internet service company through the CMM certification journey, she has led the PMO and Quality function followed by heading the Stores IT delivery organization at Tesco. She is a warm and caring person with a no-nonsense attitude and is happily married with two children aged 15 and 12 years. Here are some excerpts from an interview with her.

 Name few qualities which you think is able to help you get to the current level?

 Execution - Being a hands on technical person helps to lead a technical organization in the right path and ensures that leadership is execution focused;

Empathy - having a true connect with people ensures growth and a high level of retention.

Balance – knowing when to dive into the details and when to get the strategic outlay are a few of the key leadership qualities.

 How do you balance your various roles?

My mantra is, “Outsource everything except being a mother and a wife:-)” Basically, build strong support structures which can complete tasks and provide the time for you to focus on things that you need to complete. I love cooking, and it helps me de-stress, and so does spending time with my children and elders in the family. I believe in working smart to produce results and expect no less from my teams.

 What keeps you going in tough times?

I love humor. That is the most effective therapy during any tough situation. I carry less luggage (hurt, anger, worry, fear) and hence the journey is comfortable and enjoyable. Whenever I hit a rough patch, I tell myself that “this too shall pass” and this helps me to blithely move ahead when all mental weight has been shed.

 What is your view on why there is drastic drop in percentage of women at the top?

I think that the question is whether there is a credible drop in percentages as we climb higher. My answer would be no, because women make their choices and prioritize personal fulfillment over professional success. In the fight between the board room seat and the family hearth, I think the family hearth wins hands down. This is a conscious choice that women are making and there is no element of bias at the top. I think these choices are personal and every woman has to make it consciously. The only advice I would give them is never to allow a guilt gap to overpower or cloud these important career choices.

Be the best you can in what you are, what you do and where you go.  Best Wishes! 

Mrs Vasudharini Srinivasan - Head Stores IT, Tesco HSC

Olive - our lovely family member

Olive walked / ambled into our lives on 08 June 2003. She was born on 20 Apr 2003 and was part of a litter of puppies that we went to see. As experience has taught me, there is no seeing a puppy. You just bring them home because something just gives way and your rationale of why you cant have a dog in an apartment goes for a toss. I was 3 months pregnant, had been advised to expect a diifficult pregnancy as I was carrying twins and still we fell for the cream colored labrador female pup who was waddling towards us. We took her over to Ritu's house and embarked on choosing a suitable name. Satish wanted to name her Olive as I / she was Olive Oyl of the Popeye the sailor man fame. So she was christened while having tea with lovely friends and Olive playing with Giggles at Ritu's place.

During my pregnancy Olive ate all fruits with me with great gusto. I would later understand that she hated gooseberry as she spat only that when she tried it. She was home when I was in and out of the hospital and brought two pre-mature babies home. I had less time for Olive and as the kids started crawling I could not keep them away from Olive. She was the most patient with two kids who would sleep all over her, pull her tail, disturb her during her meal and try to ride her like a horse all the time. Not once did she growl or be impatient with the kids. There are times when I have asked her to leave the room instead of telling the kids not to disturb her. I used to jokingly say that she was the only person who listened to me in my own home :-)

 As she grew older, she mellowed down and was the gentlest dog in the neighborhood  Kids and mothers who were generally afraid of any canine form, were okay with Olive. They would come forward pet her and say that she was most gentle lady that they had met so far. Olive had a litter of her own to a gently and gigantic Samrat and that was her brush with motherhood. Satish and I delivered the pups.

Olive loved to swim in the sea at Kerala and accompanied us every year. She was a wonder to the village boys and girls who could not get over this dog who would fetch a Frisbee or stick after swimming further and further into the sea. But she retrieved the Frisbee / stick every time without fail. Satish loved to run with her and take her to the sea every day.

After spending 10 years with us, Olive passed on today 01 Feb 2013 due to an infection in the blood and the resulting complications. It was hard to see her sick and then go. Nothing prepares you though you are aware that she is in an exit mode. I think my ode to Olive is about how she converted the non dog lover in me to a tolerant lover of Olive. On the day she died, I am not sure if I can love or connect with another dog, the way I did connect with her but some relationships will always be special and cannot be replaced by a new one. I will miss her running away with my slipper as I enter the home from office, or her tugging my kurta /dress and not letting go till I had petted her and showered attention on her. She was unique adn wiill stay in my heart as my lovely dog. God bless you sweet heart and I hope you are born into another loving household which you will enrich the same way, you did ours!

Eight years and looking forward to more

Today I looked at the date, and realized that its been 8 years since I started my journey at Tesco. I started consulting with Tesco way back on 02 Jan 2005 to Program Manage the recruitment function.  Life has come a full circle and while I contemplate many happenings, I thought its best to pen down some notes from the heart.

Reflecting on many of the positives, this is my first experience in a large MNC and I still feel an integral part of a large company though Tesco HSC at heart is a very localized Indian set up that understands and supports employees and is very sensitive to the various cultural nuances of the Indian work force. I am grateful for this, as with all the ups and downs in life, it has helped me bring up two lovely children, go through a life changing accident and come out with more friends,  strength and tenacity.  Second, Tesco has a very core people value that may or may not be present in many large organizations. This has been a boon to sustain a long career with one company. This has also helped me sustain my motivation levels during the peaks and troughs in various work assignments. Third, I have had the good fortune to work with many good leaders, peers and subordinates who have had their part in moulding me in more ways than one. I can see a vast difference in my outlook, problem solving capabilities and the basic ways that I contribute and work as part of a team.

I wanted to take a moment to thank each one of you and wish you a very happy year ahead!!

As always, there is only one life and one way to look at it and that is to seize the moment and enjoy it while it lasts. I will continue to do the same J

From the desk of a wage slave

Here is the speech for the BSMED Alumni meet celebrating entrepreneurs on 14 September 2012.

Hello students, alumni and respected faculty

It is a privilege to be sharing my views on the same podium as many of these dynamic entrepreneurs from BSMED. What I am going to say in the next 10 minutes may not make sense to many of you now. In time when some of you have worked in a job or ventured to be an entrepreneur, it might all piece together again.

Like millions of people in the world, I work in a salary paying job and have been at it for the last 15 years. I have had my share of good experiences, wonderful bosses, horrible managers, high performing teams, loser combinations, shining examples of good work and some hilarious instances of stupidity. Despite all this, I have not embarked on the glitz and glamorous journey of an entrepreneur. Many times I have wondered why? Chief amongst the reasons is that I don’t have a good business idea that stirs my soul. Seeing my friends here, each of them had a business idea and the all consuming passion to translate it to reality. They lived and breathed every minute of their lives into the idea and translating it to a viable business model. They were eating, sleeping and thinking one thought through the formative years of their company. They did not wait for the right time to arrive before they started work on their ideas. Every minute was the right minute. It did not matter whether they were in high school, a college graduate, illiterate person or a housewife. Every minute spent wondering whether to work on the business idea and having doubts, there were 20 other people across the globe who were already progressing towards launching the same product or service in the market. So, when any of you have a business idea anytime in your life, if it evokes all your energies, it’s the right one, why wait - Embark on the journey! A journey that will, no doubt, be a joyful and meaningful one.

Most of us from outside think that the journey is all of glitz and glamour. Being a CEO or MD must be giving them immense power and money as they are at the top, right? While these are the thoughts of the ignorant and un-initiated, anyone who has even had a small brush with the entrepreneurial world will know that the job of an entrepreneur is more than being the captain of the ship. They are also the office boys, delivery team, receptionist, operations guys, marketing staff, brand ambassadors and cleaning staff – all rolled into oneJ So the glitz and glamour has relentless hard work, complete ownership and great responsibility riding on their shoulders. So never take an entrepreneur lightly or their job as one where they can work when ever they please. This is one job that has no hours or job descriptions. It’s a job where the buck starts and stops with one person, the entrepreneur!!

Another myth that all of us carry is one where we believe that paying jobs always have people or bosses to whom we have to report. In contrast, the entrepreneur can set his own timelines and work at his pace and is not answerable to anyone. So untrue. An entrepreneur will be driven by the success he chases and by the responsibility he carries towards his business, towards is stakeholders and towards his employees. Hence there is never a boundary to his / her working time. Every opportunity will be seized to promote and brand the business no matter how late or how early. I would like to recall the words from the English movie –Spiderman. With great power comes great responsibility!

So now we know that having a business idea is key, working on it without wasting any time gives you the shortest time to market and owning the business is a hard and responsible job. Though I have shattered all the pleasant and glamorous thoughts about entrepreneurs and given a realistic view, we must also mull over the key qualities or attributes of an entrepreneur. Look around you, remember your interactions with the entrepreneurs seated here today you will all agree that

- they feel deeply passionate about the business they are in,
- they have enormous appetites for risk
- they are continous innovators, ideators
- they are enterprising and energetic
- they have the grace and elegance during successful ventures
- they have the drive to sustain thro failed ideas
- they are extremely self motivated and driven and
most of all they feel an abiding responsibility towards anything that they have started.

So I would like to end my speech with a salute to all these wonderful entrepreneurs! Kudos to each and every entrepreneur here and best of luck to everyone who chooses to walk down the same path of entrepreneurial adventures!! To close, I would recall the words of George Bernard Shaw – Life is not about finding yourself. Its about creating yourself!!

Good luck and God bless!!
Thank you!

No, Go, Tell says Dr Shaibya on "Personal Safety for kids"

Few weeks ago I arranged for a Personal Safety workshop for the kids. I got about 10 kids together, paid for the community hall at our apartment and made arrangements for having colours, papers and pencils and helped Dr Shaibya run this work shop for kids between 8 to 10 years of age. The reason I did this is - one I believe that it is important for all children to be aware of personal safety and two I knew that I would handle this topic badly and was sure that Dr Shaibya would do a great job.

Dr Shaibya is easy to talk to and related to the kids in a fantastic manner. Without much fuss, the workshop started at 10 am at the Club house in our apartment complex. There was a small ice breaker session where each child was asked to introduce them selves with an action and the entire group mimicked the action and called out the child’s name. Some children were adventurous in the actions like Adi who decided to climb the wall backwards while resting his hands on the ground J

Post the icebreaker, Dr Shaibya introduced the concept of safe adults through a fun drawing / tracing of one’s hand. She made the kids write down name of an adult in each finger with whom the child felt they could share any information or go to when they were in trouble. Further, she coached them on saying an emphatic “No” when they did not like the touch from any individual. She advised the kids to leave the room or place if a troublesome adult did not heed to the “No.” If going away also did not help, Dr Shaibya urged the kids to tell any of the adults that the kids had written down in their safe hand drawing. Thereby, she beautifully put it as “NO – GO – TELL” principle to be followed.

As a parent I agonized over, how to explain a good or bad touch. I was worrying whether I would be able to articulate correctly how a child can recognize a bad touch. Dr Shaibya had a simple and effective mechanism. Any touch that the child feels uncomfortable with, he / she should be able to say no to. I found this principle at the core of the workshop. No one will need to put up with anything that we intuitively feel uncomfortable about and children have a great sense of intuition and how to protect themselves. As parents, we should encourage them to rely on these instincts and not curb their responses.

At the closure of the workshop, the beautiful neem tree story was narrated and each child was asked to envisage themselves as a tree and draw and colour it. These drawings Shaibya wanted to take away as her keep sake. Overall the session was interactive, easy and one child summed it all beautifully in the feedback round. When asked if she liked the work shop, my friend Ha Ha Hasini said, “I didn’t like the workshop, I loved it!!”

Angels at home and on the phone

My twins are 8 years old and I have slowly started doing things I like rather than keep my life completely centred around them. Life was not the same when they are born and all the way till about 5 years. Being premature children and then having one adult dog at home (now we have two!!), the problems seemed insurmountable or at least deserved a proper escape route for a frazzled mother. My mother was always there to help but unsympathetic to the worries I was facing mostly because she did not understand these issues (health, moods or otherwise) that I was describing about our children. She was happily oblivious and said “I don’t know what all this fuss is about, in our days, we used to scatter food on the ground and you guys were happy to eat, you played all the time, and slept when you were tired. We did not watch over you as much as you do. We had lots of household chores to do” was her standard repose.

In all the countless days of breast feeding problems, husband killing madness, panic moments of ill health, surgeon visits, NICU stay and depressing mood swings I had 2 or 3 angels on the phone and at home. I think the people who top the list are Dr Shaibya Saldanha and Mrs Meena Sivaraman. Shaibya is my gynaecologist who was also my sounding board and advisor from maternity advice to marital discord. She did not hesitate to come home at 2 am in the night with her husband Eugene to give me some medication for severe wheezing attack during my post partum days. While my poor husband was running around trying to buy the prescribed medication, Shaibya’s husband Eugene was trying to rock one of my twins to sleep. What an amazing bunch of friends more than doctor!! That’s my first angel. She was the first person I called when I heard that my co brother had passed away. Should I fly with the kids to Mumbai or will it be too much of a strain? She gave me the right advice then and continues to be my angel on the phone and in person till date.

Meena with close to 20 years of experience in early development for all kids was the only reason that I could survive the toddler and preschool years. She taught me how to cope, small things to do that made a huge difference, how to handle one of my twins who would not sleep till 1.30 am in the night, and every other conceivable child care topic that you can think off. She is my second angel who still has her protective charms and easy words of advice for me. We were truly lucky to find such child care for my kids and in the process find such a good and honest friend in Meena. I feel blessed!

Satish – my husband is the angel at home. He would come back after a full day at work and still help me with the kids in the night. Amazing but true!! We have our moments of madness, fights, discords and make up episodes. His love and care for the kids more than make up for everything. To answer all questions on how do you manage a full time career, two kids, two dogs and a farm – the answer is with loads of help from lots of people and not the only ones mentioned above. Life is indeed beautiful when you have angels at home and on the phone!

Many people are surprised when they hear I hold a full time job in IT, have twins and 2 dogs at home. “How do you manage?” is the first question that pops out of the surprised mouths.“With loads of help” is my standard response. My husband is a guy who will share all house hold chores despite having a demanding IT career and running his own enterprise along with two other partners. He genuinely loves to play with the kids and keep fighting with them in equal measure. Mind you, my husband is not the only one to jump into the fray and help out. My in-laws, my sister in law (who will drop everything and run behind the kids, the minute I as much as wince from the work load) She is also supposedly the strictest aunt :-) My elder sister who flew down from Maldives to teach me how to care for premature twins. My younger one who will come anytime to help out managing the rascals. More more and many more instances and stories to share. How can I not mention Meera? Meera and I who have managed 3 kids when ever required. Its practically as if Meera had triplets instead of a singleton. Truly blessed with countless friends who have looked after my children on days when I had to go office or the farm or just to catch up on some well deserved rest. My mum, in laws who can spoil the kids silly and yet complain that we fuss too much over children these days :-)

Truly, India is the country to bring up kids. With relatives, friends and every one pitching in, its been a good 8 years so far. This is my note of thanks to all the lovely people mentioned above and countless others who have always contributed to looking after providing child care when I needed it the most. And without much ado…Thank you, Danke, Nandri…